How Understanding Personalities Can Help You Raise Your Kids

"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn’t been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him." 
Pablo Casals 

Every Child is Different

So, we read all of these books on how to raise our kids... We try to understand why we have the "well-behaved" child and the "naughty" child.  But have you ever stopped and evaluated why one is behaving while the other is lashing out?  Is the well-behaved child more like YOU in personality?  This may be the reason your parenting skills work with that particular child.  Now, is the other child very different from you?  We like to think that our children are just like us, but in truth they are not.  They may have our eyes, our hair, our bone structure... but they do not contain our ideals... We INSTILL those.  They are not an extension of us in wills.  So, would it not be a grand idea to discover the personality types of your children?

My daughters: Phoebe(front) and Faith(back). Can you tell their personalities from just this picture?

I have recently been studying personality types because my business requires some outside-the-box thinking on how to better reach people.  So, I have listened to several podcasts on the topic.  Specifically, the Enneagram podcasts.  All NINE types are discussed with extensive descriptions.  I started to think about how to apply this knowledge to not just my business, but also to my children, my husband, my full type job and so on.  This is not to say that you will psycho-analyze all of your loved ones and coworkers non-stop... No, what you WILL do is discover which personality they fit, and begin to alter your mannerisms, and speech toward that person.  If you get a positive result, you've nailed which personality they are, and you can continue to interact with that person in the proper way.  

http://www.itunes.com For locating the Enneagram podcasts


Do you see how this is valuable for parenting?  If you have a child who is of the Helper personality (Type 2), he or she has a strong urge to help you and other siblings with EVERYTHING.  Give them specific jobs, and tasks, and praise them heavily for doing so.  Show them love and affection for being kind to others, and always thinking of others, but also remind them to take care of themselves.  So, give them tasks that will create something new for THEM (art projects, birdhouses, etc...)  This is just one example.

I am not a child psychologist, I am simply a mother like many of you who are reading this blog.  I have the problem of raising my children the same way because I was of the mind that it was fairness.. and balance that mattered.  It has not worked for me.  So, I begin my experiment of whether catering to their specific personalities is the better way.  I will update the blog about this experience every week.  I encourage you to leave your comments below with whether you've tried this and if you've seen success.

As always, good luck parents!  You are going to need it! ;)