5 Things a newly single mom should know...
#1 You can survive.
never let your personal fears or self doubt cloud your path. Never lived on your own? Not sure you can support yourself let alone your kids? Yes you can. And I cannot express how much you need to believe that. Belief begets action. Action in accordance with your beliefs begets success. I had never lived alone. Never thought I could. But guess what? I did it, and I'm still doing it.
#2 You Will Go through several emotions in minutes.
When you feel like a crazy person because you were crying, then you begin feeling angry, then panic and even 2 seconds of peace before spiraling back into sadness... It's normal. You're completely changing everything you've ever known to be true, routine, and comfortable. It's bound to wreak havoc in your mind. So give yourself a break, okay?
#3 Be Comfortable with living Outside your comfort zone.
Nothing will be the same. Embrace it. The sooner you do, the less pain and panic. You won't see the same people you used to. You won't go the same places. You won't see your kids every day. And the person you were with will become a stranger to you. Life is totally different now.
#4 You will lose friends and family
Inlaws aren't in your orbit any longer. And honestly, they shouldn't be. Everyone needs time to adjust and heal, especially if you're in the separation stage. Imagine how awkward it feels to them too, and give them space. Mutual friends will feel divided and some will choose sides. The best thing you can do, is not take it personally. People will come in and out of your life. Take this as a sign and blessing that they've run their course and you've learned what you were supposed to learn from them.
#5 CHANGE IS GOOD
Contrary to what your gut says, and how scary everything may seem...
From rent, to dating, to sleeping alone, you are officially taking care of yourself. You will surprise yourself every day with just how badass you are. Embrace the newly single you. And tell yourself you love yourself every day.
Divorces are ugly, painful, scary, traumatic, and expensive. BUT, they are temporary in duration, and the sooner you make peace with the above 5 Things... The sooner life becomes easier. A very wise man once told me, "You can't choose your battles, you can only choose how to react to them".
I'm currently 3 months into my separation, and as terrified as I may have been in the beginning, I'm getting more comfortable with my situation every day. Things that almost scared me into staying, I've crushed. I've blasted through the fear. I chose to take the high road. I chose to never sit and feel sorry for myself amidst the legal battles. I choose to live and show my daughter's that they only need to rely on themselves to make it in this world. YOU CAN TOO.
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