How To Get Your 5 yr Old To Sleep At Night

Guess what? Being a parent is awesome, but there are times when your little darlings want NOTHING to do with bed time. Stunner, I know! Some magical things happen at night, and they cannot miss out!  There has to be a reason that adults stay up later right?  Yes, darling... it is called SANITY.

If you are like me, you probably use those precious couple of hours to catch up on all of your to-do's.  Maybe you workout.  Maybe you watch your favorite television show is PEACE for a change (No, sweetie, I have no freaking idea what is going on in this show. Their plane crashed, and someone is kidnapping them, and now they are friends, but not anymore, and someone drowned, and the island is mystical.  SHHHHH!).  Who knows?  But what I do know, is that if I do not get that time to myself, I get really pissy.  So, last weekend while my sister was in town my children were giving me a load of crap about not being able to sleep. They were itchy, they weren't feeling well, they were hot, they were cold, the light wasn't bright enough, the story wasn't long enough, and on and on and on....

So, I said, "I have a magic potion that I can brew that will help put you to sleep and take away the itchies.  Would you like to try it?"  They both got really excited.  So I said... "okay, but you have to give me some time to brew it.  You have to stay in your room or the magic won't work, okay?"  Side note parents: this part got them to stay put in their bed and begin the process of winding down.  One last question was asked before I left, and that was, "What's the potion called momma?"  To which I answered (after about 1 minute), "Placebo".  The ooooooohs that followed made me laugh to myself as I walked back down the hall to the kitchen.  I almost cackled for them.


I put the kettle on, and pulled out a green tea bag.  Placed the tea into a measuring cup and tossed in some loose chamomile flowers. I steeped the tea and the flowers, strained the mixture and added a bit of raw honey. Drank 1/2 a glass of wine (my personal potion heheh).

To make the magical effect even more powerful, I brought a dropper along with me.  A medicine dropper or a small bottle that looks like a potion bottle works well I am sure.  I told them that it was very powerful, and that they must lay down immediately after they've taken the potion, because staying awake too long may cause side effects.

They both nodded earnestly, and opened their mouths, then said, "WAIT!  What about a magic spell?"  CRAP! Now they wanted a spell. LOL.  So I made one up.  Feel free to use it for your kids.

"By Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, potion help me heal my daughters. With a gulp and a swallow, sleep is soon to follow.  No more itchies, no more aches, The sooner to sleep, the sooner to wake."

Yep, I rule!  :)  But seriously, they went to bed and did not get back up till about 7 AM which is late for them.  Mission accomplished.

Disclaimer: always consult your pediatrician before administering honey and chamomile to your children.

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If My Running Shoes Could Talk...

I am not an amazing elite qualifying runner. I am a mom of twins, a wife, and I work 2 businesses and up until June 2014 I also worked a full time job.  But this is not my story. This is the story of my running shoes 2011 - 2013, and what they would say if they could speak.

August 2011
Wow!  Thanks for buying me.  Kohl's is cool and all, but ya know, why be a shoe if no one is gonna stick me on their foot right??

September 2011
There are a lot of people here! And look, it's the little girl, Isabella!  Cool, we're taking the kids to meet her.  Hey, look! It's that dude from the radio station, Chris Wilcox. HI CHRIS!  Whew, I hope we can handle this!  First time running, and you wanna push a double stroller and your husband in his wheelchair?

What are you nuts?  Thank you to that nice lady who helped push one or the other during that run.... and oh great! It is raining.  Oh man!  This is bad.  WOOHOO! You finished!  Hey... are you okay? You look like you're gonna have a stroke!

October - December 2011
Hey, ya know... it's kinda dark in here. I get the feeling you don't remember me.  (Sigh) I thought you were kidding when you said you'd only run for kid's charities and to save your life.  I guess not.

January 2012

Hey spider!  We can be friends.  You can just crawl in here.  Hey, do you have any friends?  Tell them to come on over. We have plenty of room.  Maybe you can take messages to the outside for me.

February 2012
THE LIGHT!! IT BURNS! IT'S TERRIBLE!!  What are you doing to me?  Where are we going. I don't understand.  Your feet are too little to use me properly!  Stop it!  Oh dear God please help me! The kids have me on their feet!

March 2012
I'm here!  Under the bed!  I hear you calling for me!  Please, in here. There are so many toys.  Please, save me....  YES!!!!!!!!  Where are we going?  Oh, sorry about that spider in there... he's been dead a while though.  No need to scream again. No, there isn't anything in this one.  We got lonely okay???

Ahhhh, we're still comfortable right?  Wow! Look at all the Green! And the baked goodies.  Okay, you have those headphones in. This is promising.  Although, maybe you should be wearing some wicking fabric rather than cotton.  Oh well,off we go!  Well, I don't know what you expect? You haven't taken us out in months. You weren't training. Did you think you'd finish in under 30 minutes or something? LOL  Oh hey, someone just crashed through the front of the house!

April 2012 - June 2012
Awesome, Back in the closet again. Wow!  This Disney Place is awesome!  I'm walkin, I'm walking, wooo!  Dammit, back in the closet? REALLY?!?

July 2012
Les Mills PUMP huh?  Okay.  At least I'm out of solitary.

August 2012- October 2012
Hey, you lost a lot of weight!  You should go running now!

YAY!! It's the ISF Run again.  No kids this time huh? Good call.  Oh, I like the sound of that Les Mills COMBAT.  Kicking sounds like fun!

November 2012- March 2013
I like all this jumping and kicking, but I'm starting to feel a little warn out.  I don't know if you want to run in me any more.

April 2013
A 5k huh?  Are you sure? There isn't much support in me anymore.  Okay, but you're gonna regret it!  At least you met a new running buddy ... Jenn is it?  Cool

May 2013  
What is this one called? Hip Hop Abs.  Okay!  Dancing, sounds cool~  And Brazil Butt Lift huh?

June 2013
Wait.. Did you say Vegas???  YESSSSSSSSS!

 Do we get to meet Shaun T?  And Rach and Dan from Combat?  And Joel? And Jericho?? OMG!  This is awesome.  Woo!!  7000 people working out together? This is awesome!

July 2013
Hey, how about that Summit thing.  It's all good, I understand. I'm not supportive enough for running anymore. It's time for you to find better shoes.  Just don't forget me okay? Take me out once in a while.

August 2013-September 2013 Neon Pink and Black Fila's.... meet the beginning of my running hobby.

Saucony is now my shoe of choice, and I am now training for a full marathon with only 1 half under my belt, but I have run half marathon distance many times.  I cannot believe a 5k used to kill me. Anyone can become a runner!

How Your Feet Can Cause Back Pain

One of the more common postural distortions is called, “Stooped Posture”.

This is a general term for a posture that primarily results in a pain that wraps around the lower and mid back but also includes compression of the disks in the lower (or, Lumbar) spine, very tight hamstrings and foot/ankle/knee problems.  In some cases, the head may also need to move forward (due to the abdominals pulling the ribcage downward); causing what is termed “forward head posture”.

Neuromuscular Therapy or, NMT, is a wonderful mode of Massage that aides the body in correcting its posture.  Basically, through targeting specific areas that are causing the postural distortion, NMT loosens the muscles and surrounding tissues, so that the body can move itself back into its proper alignment. 

Almost every person has something they could improve upon in their posture.  Such distortions can occur for a number of reasons such as the type of work they do, exercising improperly, non-ergonomic work stations (i.e.: computer desk/chair heights and angles) and even our emotions.  Emotions can cause us to distort our posture.  Such as, when we are nervous or sad, most people hold their arms around their stomach and curl inward.  Over time, without realizing this, their bodies become “locked” into this new posture.  Any of the above named factors can cause the body to “lock” into a postural distortion.  What results from this is a number of counter balancing acts throughout the body. 

The human body is set up in such a way to allow for it to move through gravity with the least resistance and proper balance.  If one side of the body is pushed forward, then the other side must move back to balance the body out.  Think of the body like a set of building blocks. 

You will find that a number of muscles contribute to locking the body into a “Stooped Position”.  We're going to focus on the torso and down. Muscles from the foot, ankle and the hamstrings of the thigh will pull together causing the knees to bend forward and the foot to be in a constant plantar-flexed position (standing on tip-toes). 

What we will find happens when the muscles on one side of the leg are constantly flexed; the other side is over lengthened.  When a muscle stretches too far, it becomes weak, and therefore painful.  So what will need to take place in this instance is that the locked down muscles in the back of the leg need to be released, so to allow the muscles on the front of the leg to heal and return to a neutral length. 

Tight hamstrings will pull on the pelvis, causing it to tilt to the rear of the body.  Once this occurs, the lower (Lumbar) spine (as seen below) will lose its natural curve, and could result in compression of the discs that lie between the vertebrae. The entire spine can eventually straighten, losing its flexibility and stiffening. 

When this happens, the abdominal muscles are given the chance to shorten and lock into the shortened position.  This over elongates the muscles of the back, just like in the legs.  So, pain will be felt in the back due to the over stretched and weak muscles. The muscle in the center of the abdomen, Rectus Abdominis’ main action is to bend (flex) the body at the waist, so allowing this muscle to tighten down harder than normal will definitely lead to overstretching those back muscles.  Most people will feel a strap-like pain across the low and mid back if the abdominals are involved.

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                                                About the Author:

Lisa Rebaglia is a married mother of twin girls.  Her husband is a T 12 paraplegic, and is the reason she became a massage therapist in 2008.  She is a Licensed Massage Therapist in North Carolina #07809.  She is skilled in Neuromuscular Massage Therapy, Swedish, Reiki, Thai, Hot Stone, Chair, and Sports Massage.  Lisa takes an all-encompassing approach to massage, incorporating fitness, proper nutrition, and massage to allow the body to heal itself.  You can follow Lisa on Facebook, Check out her Company Facebook here, Follow on Twitter.

3 Tips for Moms of Twins Shopping for Kindergarten

Chances are that you think you are ready for Kindergarten. You've been thinking about getting your twins prepared academically and maybe even emotionally.. but you haven't received the dreaded SUPPLIES LIST!!

Okay, first thing, when you see it, do NOT panic!  Well, panic a little because we know all of this crap on the list is for ONE child, and we have 2!  Nothing like knowing you are about to drop half of your paycheck at the local Target or Walmart :)  So I am here to take a little load off of you and make you laugh too.




Tip #1: Look online at which store not only carries everything your children's new pretentious teacher has listed, but also has the best price for said items.  This is going to save you time and money, and headache. No one wants to be strolling around a store searching in vain for the "Primary Composition Journal" whilst the twins begin to smack one another inside the fabulous double seated red cart.  Especially when that fighting then knocks over the over priced but oh-so-delicious Skinny Hazlenut-accino you JUST ordered.

And what the hell is a Super Slider? And they seriously need 2 bottles of glue PLUS a 3 pack of jumbo glue sticks??? Really? I'm not droppin store names but <cough> Target<cough>.. did not have many of the things I needed on this god-forsaken list.... go get another awesome coffee.

Tip #2:

Try not to curse and say terrible things about the teacher who set forth the list as you scour the pencil section for those stupid fat pencils that your children haven't used in a year because you have been training them with normal sized pencils owing to the fact that they are easier to find AND THEY ARE NORMAL!  The last thing you want are your children walking into school on the first day of Kindergarten saying, "Hello Ms. Smith!  Our mommy says you are pretentious and need to understand that generic is just as good as Elmer's glue, and that if there is some sort of socialist movement happening in the classroom where the supplies she is buying are being shared, she is gonna cut somebody."  Nope, we don't want that.

Tip #3: Provide choices for your kids where you can, and where it is monetarily acceptable.  For instance, Backpacks/Book bags... let them choose one out of a group that you deem acceptable.  They are the ones who have to carry this thing around all year long... so let them have a say in what they are carrying okay?  Choose your battles, and they will be THRILLED that you let them choose this one. Another area to allow choice might be lunch bags, or pencil cases.  I know mine are thrilled with their Monster High and Ever After High bags!

In the end, what really sucks is when you know full well that even though you are paying taxes to support the schools, and your local "Education Lottery" is also funding the schools... you will have to provide things like Copy paper.  And you will wonder, if the teachers' salaries are the lowest in the country, and you are paying your taxes, and there is a lottery whose funds go to the education fund, why on earth are you having to supply them with copy paper (both plain and colored), paper towels, plates, Ziploc bags and on and on?

So I will give you a bonus tip:

BONUS TIP:  Unless you are willing and ready to start a crusade that you will most likely end up losing whilst making your child suffer socially, just let it go... chalk it up to one of life's suck-ass moments, and move on.  Pop a cork off of your favorite red wine, and raise your glass to no more Child Care costs, a chance to get real work done during the day (SAHMs and Working moms), and enjoy the rest of your summer.  Your kids are growing up, and the time with them is precious and short... so even in those moments when you want to tear your damn hair out... and maybe even theirs.. just remember that you love them, they love you, and everything is gonna be just fine.

Cheers! ~Lisa
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5 Things They Don't Tell You About Raising Twins (or more)

Moms of multiples, gather round, and no I don't mean moms with 3 or more kids that were born as singletons.  No offense, because you certainly are no slacker, but this is stuff only moms of twins, triplets, quads, and "OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FIT ALL OF THOSE INSIDE OF YOU" moms would truly understand..

#1 - For the first few months of their lives (if you chose to breastfeed- bless your heart), you will be a milk cow.  You will either have both children, or a machine perpetually suckling at your teats around the clock. Your husband will vie for some boob time, but seriously... the only thing you'll want to do when he grabs a hold of them is punch him in the face.  Simple say, "Dearest husband, unless you are actively helping with massage to help loosen my milk sacs because they feel like they are about to rupture and all I want to do is scream, RELEASE THE BOOBS!  You are restricted to gazing fondly until such time as I choose to stop this masochistic cycle of feeding and pumping."  And one other tip... place a stack of books next to your chosen milking station. I made it through at least 4 books per week.

#2 -  You know those leashes for children that you used to think were horribly degrading for the child upon which they were fastened? And you would look at the parents with the meanest stink eye you could muster?  Guess what??? You will be buying a couple when your babies start to walk/run and you want to walk through the mall/airport without the gigantic stroller that will never fit in a regular sized car or an airplane.  Yep, embrace the leash because when baby A decides that going left at full speed, while Baby B goes right at full speed, you'll wish you had something to reel them back in, or stop them in their tracks.  They have adorable stuffed animal ones that double as a back pack, so suck it up, and be THAT parent. We can't all have an entourage like Kate +8 or the rest of those reality moms of multiples.  And before you get all soap-boxy I am not talking about leashing your kids at the park.  Hold their hand you say, OH! Yep, I never thought of that. Let me know how well your twin 2 year olds abide the hand-holding when they suddenly see an entire store of DISNEY!

#3 - No matter how hard you try, there will come a time when each of your children throw the "you love _____ more than you love me" craptastic comment at you.  Understand that this is inevitable, and is simply a ploy for additional attention.  Unless you are showing favoritism toward one child.. in which case, you should listen, and rethink some things.  In case you didn't notice yet, I do not sugar coat!!  But hey, you love me right? ;-)  . In all seriousness, I will occasionally split up my twins, and one goes with Daddy for the day on a date, and one goes with me on a date.  That way they both have a moment where they are truly the center of attention, and they don't feel like they need to compete.


#4 - You will be faced with a "Buy 2 or 1" dilemma every single day until they are out of your home.  Buy 2 of the same dolls or 1 to share?  Buy 2 of the same dress, or 1 from 2 different styles?  Buy 2 T-Rexes or 1.  And we have not made it to the car age yet... but again.. they are both going to be driving at the SAME time, so do you buy 2 cars, or 1 that they can learn and share the driving?  Know this... whatever you do is what is right for your family.  DO NOT allow other people to tell you what you should or should not do.  Some kids are great with sharing, while others will start World War III if you say they have to share anything, including the oxygen around them.  Choose your battles, and know your financial limits. that is all I am sayin.

#5 - You will have to make a lot of tough decisions with multiples.  Keep them in the same class room when they start school?  Keep them together until the school splits them up?  Put both of them in the same activity or let them both choose different ones?  Having 2 kids at the same age going through the same things at the same time is a blessing and a curse.  It is NOT the same as having 2 children of differing ages.

Get ready to answer several irritating questions every day.

I will also add that you will have 2 teething at the same time, potentially 2 colic babies at the same time, 2 sick babies at the same time, 2 tantrums to end all tantrums at the same time, feeding baby food to 2 at the same time.  You will amaze yourself at what one or 2 people can accomplish when working as a united front.  I have 3 pieces of advice for you Moms of multiples:
1. Be kind to your spouse... they are your only ally
2. Be kind to your spouse... they are your only ally
3. Be kind to your spouse... they are your only ally



Get it? Got it? Good!

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The Good Things - stuff I want my kids to know

Recently I made a post on my Fitness and Motivation page on Facebook.  It was an article I found on buzzfeed entitled, "32 Pictures The Will Change The Way You See The World".  In one article you see 32 instances of people doing good things, positive things, selfless things... in essence, things that make up the best parts of humans.

Impromptu Christmas for a Homeless man. from above mentioned Buzzfeed Article

I wake up everyday and my first thought is, "Take care of the family, then take care of me".  And after everyone is at school/work I read about 1 chapter of something positive every morning, or listen to an audio every morning that uplifts me.  Because, I know that when I sit down in front of the computer, and scan Facebook I'm going to see a ton of sad stories, tragic news stories, angry posts, and in a nutshell... all of the things that make up the negative side of humans. Why do I scan Facebook?  Well, because a LARGE part of my home businesses are run through social media.  So I have to get on it every day.  Every single day I reach out to people and hope that I can help them in some way.  Be it, a book, or a kind word, or helping them find their fitness, or maybe even gifting them their own business.  And certainly I hear a myriad of feedback... but I never let it stop me from spreading the positive.  Haters gonna hate right?

I shared that article to remind people that there is good in this world.  I shared it to remind people that being a good person is as easy as saying hello, shaking a hand, taking time to help a stranger, looking out for your fellow man, because it is RARE, and it damn well shouldn't be.  We should be celebrating the good.  We should be "Sharing" the status' that call to action for something positive.  We should be sharing double rainbows, and soldier homecomings, and children's attempts to make us smile.  I'm going to ask a favor.  If you are a parent, like me, I want you to take a moment and make a post on your page about something good in this world.  Take a break from all the political bashing, the gun law stuff, the MEMEs that make fun of others, and post something positive.  Post a link to your Facebook or Twitter post in the comments below.  And everyone that reads this... follow those links and click LIKE/SHARE and bring some more love to the world of Social Media.

Our kids deserve a better example.  They are innately good, and innocent. They see the good in everything, and accept everyone.  We teach them to hate. We teach them to call to notice differences in skin/sexuality/faith.  If people would stop preaching their own agendas for 5 seconds to the children of this world... there would be a hell of a lot more acceptance and peace.  Let's set a good example. Let's share love.  Will you accept this challenge? And add the hashtag #ForOurFuture in your posts.

How Are You? That's a tough one

It's a normal question. One people throw around and half the time don't even stick around for the answer.  But recently I've been hearing it a lot and people want an actual answer from me. And THAT my friends is a pickle.  Because I am extremely thrilled on the inside, but I cannot talk about it with anyone, and certainly not on my blog.  But at the same time.... some things are happening right now that, to put it lightly, are harshing my mellow bu-ddy.

Within the last year I have watched my family and myself become better versions of ourselves.  I've felt bonds strengthen, happiness heighten, and we're just in general, better than we have ever been.  But you know... as in everything else in the world, life demands balance.  And I don't expect sympathy.  This is literally just a way for me to get things (well, what I CAN talk about on Social media) out.  To effectively balance the good things we have experienced, we have met with extreme negativity from an abundance of people.  Some unexpected, some not so much.  

My heart has been consumed with caring about what these people think of me and my family, and I've finally reached a point where I don't care.  Me and my family care deeply about a lot of things.  We are active in the community.  We help people whenever and however we can.  It's just something that we've come to understand about the Universe.  Happiness comes to those who give of their time, their minds, and their hearts, and yes in some cases, their money.  It's hard for people who thrive on drama and misery to understand someone who doesn't.  It's harder for them to wrap their mind around why someone who previously thrived on those things would suddenly not want it in their lives any more.  They try like hell to hold onto you, digging their claws of hate, gossip, despair, and disarray into you.  They make you question if you are "forgetting where you come from".  They manipulate you into thinking YOU are in the wrong for wanting to be more positive.

People are allowed to change. People SHOULD change.  Change means growth.  Growth means experience and knowledge.  And in the end, happiness and success.  

I've learned a lot over just the last month about who truly matters.  Between a team of people willing to come together and spend and entire day on a lemonade stand for Pediatric Cancer Research, to massive prayers for my husband who is lying in a hospital while I sit here typing this.  People who private message me on Facebook, or text me, or call me and say the sweetest things, or compliments that I have no idea how to accept, because I have no idea how someone like me could have inspired them, but I say thank you.  People who welcomed me and my children to events with open arms.  Friends who look past my husband's wheelchair, and see a person; and real human being, not a cripple with no future, and only limitations.  People who live all across this country, who have never met me in person, but call to check on me to see how I am doing.  People who go out of their way to help someone in need.  Those people matter.  Those people are lights.  Those people are people who inspire. Those are the people I want to be around.  Those are the people who I want my family to be around.  Those are the people who will be role models for my daughters.

A new chapter is unfolding in our lives.  Something big is going to happen, I can feel it.  Consistent work on planning for the brighter future, and remaining constant in our thoughts of happiness has brought about some amazing opportunity and change.  We are ready to look forward into a new future with open hearts and open minds.  And I could not be more grateful for the people we hold dear.  At the end of the day, we all have to take inventory of what we've done. Have we sewn seeds of hope and love, or misery and pain? I'm not in the business of harvesting crap, so I think I'll stick to the hope and love.

Special thanks to The Chambers family, Jenn Murphy, The Blackwells, Team Fit Future, The Isabella Santos Foundation, Chris Wilcox and family, Woody Wood and family, The PPSC, The Vondrans aka You People Kobleske's, and Watsons., and some of you Rebaglia's too. 

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I hate you mom! Episode 4: I hate me too sometimes

"Hate is a strong word... but I really really really don't like you!"  Fabulous lyrics from a fabulous one hit wonder (well.. at least I think they are... I do live in a time warp known as North Carolina).  But in any event. On with the show.

Dearest Faith and Phoebe,

Over the last year or so, you have seen mommy lose her mind and become a banshee.  I have spewed guilt on you like the best Jewish or Catholic mother would (if only I were Jewish, or Catholic).  I have screamed, I have spanked, I have ignored, I have grounded, I have taken things away, and I have (when I am in control of my faculties) just left the room to breathe from the never-ending disrespect of me, your father, and your home.

I truly do not know what to do anymore.  I hear so many conflicting ideas, and I just don't know what to do, so I just do my best.  Yes, I hate me sometimes.  I hate when I lose it, and yell. I hate when I spank you. I always feel like a huge asshole (yes I can say that, you are reading this as an older person, so stop judging).  I hate that I don't know what to do at times, and so I just walk away and ignore you.

There are times my lovelies that I feel like I am the worst mother alive, and others when I feel like I am he best.  Most of the time I am worried about how I am screwing up, and what you will say to your therapist when you are 29 and unable to understand why you inhereted an unstoppable temper.  I have for the most part learned to quell my temper, and know when to walk away with adults, but 5 year olds are a whole different monster.

For example, tonight, Faith, you were using your sisters brand new scarf as a jump rope. I looked right at you and said, "That is not a jump rope, that is a scarf, please stop it." You said, "Okay mommy" and immediately used it like a jump rope again, right in front of me.  WTF?!?!!?!?!?!?  Blatant disrespect.  What do I do about that?  Spank you? Yell? Tell you I am disappointed? Ignore it? Say nothing and simply sit you down and leave the room? What???

I don't expect either of you to understand what I do for this family, and how much I need you to pick up after yourself because I just don't have the energy to do it for you.... because you are children, and five years old.  Alas, this is my dilemma, and if you have 5 year olds right now, I hope my mother's curse worked and you can show me how YOU handle it, because I just don't know.

I love you both dearly, and I cannot imagine life without you. You are the reason I work hard. You are the reason I get us all involved in charity work.  You are my reason for reas----oh hun (Matchbox 20).

My darlings, if you get nothing else from this rant, get this:  I am not perfect, but I am doing my best with what I can, and I love you.  I hope that I do not permanently scar you, or screw you up too terribly.  Know that you will always have a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen when your kids do this to you... just like your Grandma Hope is to me.

PS... I am really liking the Hold the penny to the wall with your nose" punishment your Uncle Rob came up with.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Mom

I Hate you Mom! Part 3

Dearest fruit of my loins, aka Faith and Phoebe,

A note on bed time. Yes, I understand that you want to stay up.  I understand that in your mind, mommy and daddy wait until you are in sleepy time land to crack open a can of fun.  Yes, we have clowns, and in fact, and entire circus comes to life in our living room once your little heads nod off.  Just last night, I was talking to the bearded lady over a pint about how the pros and cons of shaving and waxing.  Of course you'll know nothing about either of those things right now, but she is surprisingly knowledgeable about all manner of grooming.  Oh! And your father and I took turns on the trapeze.  They had a harder time flinging your daddy around but nonetheless, we had a blast.  Eating peanuts with the elephants, discussing the importance of drinking water with the flame eaters, and of course, I had to get a high five from the lions just for Phoebe's sake.  I mean... there was a giant CAT* !  I had to say wassup.

Of course you can use the bathroom for the 5th time in 2 minutes. Yep, the dog is still laying down. No, I don't think you need to change your pajamas again... who do you think is going to visit? Justin Bieber? and didn't we talk about that little thug? He is a bad dude... forget about him.  Yes, I can leave a light on.  No, you don't need another snack.  Yes I love you. No I didn't forget to give you hugs and kisses... this is the 3rd set right here, okay? MUAH, (Squeeze).  FINE! Sorry I will give them to you in the "proper order"... (Squeeze), Muah.  Yes Phoebe, I will hug and kiss you again too. No I don't love Faithy more.  You are both awesome.  NO more water! You just went to the bathroom 5 times.... make that 6. Get back in bed please!


 Seriously you two!  There is nothing exciting happening after you go to sleep.  Most nights mommy is trying like hell to get her coaching work done, or create new blogs for this blog, which is rather ironic that I am writing a blog about how you don't want to go to bed while arguing with you about how you don't want to go to bed, and that I need to write my blog (about how you don't like to go to bed on time). There will come a time when sleep is all you want to do.  There will also come a time that you will want to sleep in until noon, and I promise you as your mother whom loves you very much, that I will wake your butt up bright and early like you currently do to me on a Saturday at 4AM.  And even as I write this, and you have argued yourself to sleep on my rocking chair behind me... I cannot help but smile.  You are too freaking adorable Faith.

I know you want to stay up, and I know you think you are missing things, but you aren't. Sweeties, I wish I could put your minds to rest about this matter.  But you wouldn't believe me unless I went to bed at the same time as you and shut all the lights off.  Right now, that is just not possible.  One day I hope that you will look back at this and say, "At least she was trying to do that work when we were asleep, and not taking time away from our family time to work".  You don't understand what is going on, or why I work into the late hours of the night .. sometimes early morning, but you will soon enough.

You think I am being unfair, but I promise you that I am simply trying to make a better life for our family, and for others who seek my help.  Your mommy cares about the world... but she cares about you two and daddy most of all.

Love, 
The most unfair mommy in the whole world


* Phoebe at this time in your life you are obsessed with cats... you think you are a cat, and have, on a number of occasions, told me that I stole you from your cat mother in the forest, and that I didn't actually birth you.  We've endured a lot of face licking from you as well.  Just sayin.

My FAT loss / Weight loss Story

I Hate You Mom! Episode 2

Imagine if you will, morning in a sleepy town like any other small town.  A mother zipping around the house, getting clothes for the children, cooking breakfast for the family, and trying desperately to remember all of the things that need to be done on a Monday morning before school and work.

In a whir of sound and fury come the children abounding and both slinging rapid fire questions about breakfast and what they want, and how they want it, and where is the cinnamon toast crunch?....

The mother says simply, "please leave the kitchen". And in between more loud shouts of demands she says more firmly, "Please leave the kitchen".  And still with even more questions, and now the children are stopping her from being able to move about the kitchen to prepare not only breakfast for everyone, but also snacks and lunch for her and daddy. Finally the mother has had enough and yells, "I SAID LEAVE THE KITCHEN!"

The children flee and scream, running down the hallway as if chased by the Walking Dead.  And 1 minute later one returns... the brown haired, brown-eyed, stubborn and brave little Phoebe.  She peeks around the fridge asking, "So are we going to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast?"  Mother replies, "No".

After the look of "YOU KILLED MY CAT" from Phoebe, and huge tears welling in her eyes... she says, "you are the meanest mommy ever!"

So, here is the deal my little darlings...  My job is not to cater to your every desire.  I am your mommy and am therefore in charge of making sure you eat properly, you go to school, you remain somewhat non-infectious through bathing and hand washing, and of course LOVING YOU.  You will not bully me into doing something I have already said "NO" to.  No, simply means No.  And that simple lesson is one you need to learn, because it applies in a lot of different scenarios.  One being boys, and I won't even go there right now.  But, what I want to express to future you, is that you; I am sure, are happy that I did not feed you junk all of the time.  I gather that you are probably passing along proper eating to your children as you read this.  At least I hope you are.  I want to explain why I am so adamant about not doing fast food and junk on a regular basis... and I want to apologize for the amount of times we have used it, or consumed it that has led you to believe this should happen more often.

Growing up the way we did on such a fixed income, we did not have the ability to be choosy about what we ate. Mom (Your grandma Hope) made due with what she had. That meant a ton of pasta, hamburger helper, rice, and any other number of low cost meals.  We ate bowls of white rice covered in milk butter and sugar for dinner because it was easy, and cheap.  And I appreciate all of the hard work that she and Papa Mike went through to put that food on our table.  However, I had a weight problem due largely to the food I was eating.  And it continued into adulthood because I did not know HOW to eat healthy, nor did I know I wasn't.

I have the knowledge now, and because I know that I have struggled with addiction to sweets (because I always had them on hand as a child and a teenager)... I know the same can happen to you. So, I just don't have them around.  I want you to look at cookies and cake as treats for once in a while, not an every night occurrence.  I want you to eat the foods that you need so your body works properly. I want you to be healthy, and have the best chance at not being obese, getting sick, or have bad skin.  I'm not telling you these things as children right now, because I do not want to put that worry on you.  No, I keep that to myself.

So,  I will take the dirty looks. I will listen to how horrible I am for not buying your cinnamon toast crunch anymore... because I hope one day, when you are running races, or being athletic in some way, or simply playing with your children, you can look back and say, "She really did care about us."  I don't want you to endure the teasing, and the struggles I went through.  I don't want you to perpetuate the history of heart disease and digestive cancers with which our family is plagued.  I want to give your insides the best chance possible at being healthy in a world of fast food, convenience, and gluttony.  I love you both!
Sincerely,
~The Worst, Meanest Mom EVER!~

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I Hate You Mom! Pt.1

My dearest Faith and Phoebe,

I decided to start a new series in my blog called, "I Hate You Mom!" In your honor. In hopes that one day, your children will utter those exact words to you as you do to me.

Now, before you get all offended, and upset... let me say this, I hope they say it, because, as you say it to me I know you do not mean it. I know you are simply angry that I won't give in to your current whim. So, when your children say it to you, I hope it is for those same reasons.

Tonight, I took you shopping with me and my dear friend Jennifer Murphy. You will remember her as Jenn with the fluffy hair, mommy's running buddy, or mother to the yellow boy and the black boy*. I was buying new pants, and could not find the cut/size/fabric I wanted. It was stressful enough without the constant shrieks and knocking over of the clothes in Marshalls... and then we went to Kohl's.  Mistake #2 (Can you gather what the 1st mistake was?)

At this point it is around 8:00 PM (Your current bed time), and Phoebe, you are crying about everything. The lights are too bright... you want to keep the dirty purple stuffed bunny you found randomly lying on the floor near a clearance rack, and of course, "Faithy keeps bothering me!".  Faith, you are tormenting your sister, sassing me, and strutting up and down the aisles like you are on a runway (God Help me).

I managed to find ONE pair of pants (when I needed 3), so small victory to mom.  I also managed to get out of the store without buying either of you a single thing, including the purple bunny (victory #'s 2 and 3).

At one point you both said you wished I was more like Gracie's mom, (Who is a great friend of mine and I love her), said You didn't want to live with me, and stomped your foot.

After a detour to Food Lion to pick up some Sprinkle Wine (2 bottles... one for me, and one to say thanks to Jenn for putting up with the fiasco).  I forgot to get cat food, and had to cook the cat some meat to tide her over till the morning.... and sat down at my computer to work my THIRD job to make sure you are both taken care of.

Why am I writing this to you?  Because at the end of the day, when you lay down to sleep (yelling at me about how you want to watch Spongebob or Breadwinners)... I love you.  I know you don't mean all the mean things you say, and you don't know how hard I work for this family... and I am glad that you don't have to worry about that right now.  BUT, I am glad that one day, you will look back at these entries and realize 2 things:  #1, the best children can still act up and be mean, and #2, the mother's curse is alive and well in your offspring.  You're welcome.  I love you both so much.

I just kissed you both goodnight about 4 minutes ago, and you are now snoring sweetly on the couch.  I will always love you, kiss you, hug you and remind you how awesome you are.

Love,
Mommy

*My children are referring to other children by their hair color... so step off your soapbox about the racism.